my french is progressing slowly. every time i think im getting better, understanding more and quicker, somebody comes along with a quick tongue and proves me wrong. the only strong change i see is i am losing my ability to speak english, and the way i phrase my sentences and my choice of words has become decidedly french. yesterday, i took a nap while ro played chat roulette with his friends. i dreamt about what they were saying, and understood more in my sleep than i do while awake. i think because i tense up, dont let the words flow through me, and try to pick apart every single word. i am going about this the wrong way. that being said, this morning i was able to watch a french cartoon and understand most.
my friends are making me jealous, off traveling to spain and italy or visiting home, while i rest here, chained by my bank account. as my father has lost his job, my back-up plan has evaporated and i can no longer afford to leave france, i might not even be able to afford to stay through july. i have spent the week alone, and am looking at another week sans mes amies. thankfully, ro has been able to sense just how upset this makes me [it might have been me crying over it multiple times, or maybe it was me saying 'i hate this moment' over and over] and has been trying to make up for it. he has decided not to leave me alone, except when he works. by the end of this time, i might be going into boyfriend-overdose. but those who read my blog regularly will know just how much it affects me to stay in one place for very long, how much i need to roam and travel, even though i absolutely adore the place i am in. it has literally been years since i have stayed in one place for this long, as i am coming up on five months without moving now. and though the place i am staying is france, the consolation of that runs out quickly. i have taken to riding the rer trains outside of paris, to the end of the lines in zone 5, just to feel like i am going somewhere. it is hard, to be seized with this much jealousy. i want to hear their stories, i want to be interested, but every time they come back with pictures and tales, i get antsy, sick to my stomach, and cannot sit still. this inability to travel is literally eating away at me. i have all of europe at the tips of my fingers, but am unable to do a thing about it.
i am starting my liquid diet today. i have been sick, my stomach hasnt emptied once, since my arrival in france. i cannot blame the french diet, the responsibility lies solely on my shoulders. i am not someone who can eat meat. yet, since september, i have been stuffing my face with all the meats i refused myself while in america. the thing that finally drove to me change, however, is of course my finances. i simply cannot afford to eat this much meat here. it is way too expensive. so i will empty my stomach, start fresh and cheap.
well, back to form, after way too long of a break. here is my weekly update!
13 april. [tuesday] i am on spring break! all i did was work, we had a picnic in front of the eiffel tower and played poker with penny centines. yep, i get paid to do that.
14 april. [wednesday] we had a work carnival, which started off super slowly. but i got to watch my students cover themselves in chantilly, or whipped cream. and then we played a game called "save the bacon" and i realized some of my students are actually cool. shocking. i had a friend from england coming in the next day, so i spent the night cleaning my apartment like crazy while katy packed for her trip. you remember megan, my bff while in england? well, she came to visit! luckily the weekend spent alone was made much better by her presence. it turns out shes studying abroad in california next semester. finally a reason to return back to the states, besides the obvious family, whom i miss dearly of course.
little sidenote: it is morning and ro just left for work. i am sat in the living room, typing. one of his friends spent the night and he just came out of my room in his underwear, posed like superman, turn around, sprinted back inside my room, and started yelling french obscenities out of my window. he was quickly answered, and proceeded to hold a conversation about the noise of construction. he then returned to the living room, answered my question of how he slept that he had left ignored, and asked for coffee. my opinion of arnold is, as of yet, undecided.
15 april. [thursday] i woke up bright and early, and headed to the eurostar station to pick up megan!! we then spent all day sightseeing. we went up the montparnasse tower, had a picnic at monceau, went to the arc de triomphe, climbed up the 284 steps, and were treated to another breathtaking view of paris. after, we walked down the champs elysees, attended a service at notre dame, and finally ate sushi with the boy.
16 april. [friday] again, we woke up early. but this time, for disneyland! there were no problems with the pirates of the carribean ride, but big thunder mountain did break down while we were queuing. i had never been to disneyland studios before, and i enjoyed it much more than the regular disney. megan works for disney, so this time i got in free again!
17 april. [saturday] we watched the man u game at an english club in the marais. i hadnt seen a game since leaving london, and it was fun to watch. after that, more sightseeing. we saw the eiffel tower during the day, cooked dinner, then went to see it again at night. we also went to sacre coeur, and walked down the pigalle/monmarte area. we even went up the eiffel tower, and got to see paris at night. it was a good end to megan's visit!
18 april. [sunday] megan left early in the morning, and i spent the day enjoying doing nothing. we had walked so much all weekend, and it was nice just to relax
19 april. [monday] the boy took me to spend the night at arnold's house. it was the first time i had been "out of paris" with him, and i didnt know what to expect. the banlieues are nothing like paris. they are quaint, and small, with houses close together but still separate. the houses look like french cottages, and remind me of the countryside. we ate saucisson, talked for a bit, and went to bed uneventfully.
20 april. [tuesday] ro didnt work during the day, so we had a picnic on the marne and they drove me around, showing me where he grew up. we also went shoping, but due to my money situation, i bought nothing. ro did, however, buy me a few plants for my garden. that night, ro skipped work and we went to a french version of a kickback/barbecue. i met a few of his close friends, whom i have never met before. for the first time in my experience here, i was at a place where the number of french woman was equal to the number of french men. in fact, with the addition of me, the girls outnumbered the boys! that has never happened before, and i thoroughly enjoyed it. i didnt realize it, but this marked the beginning of an entire week spent only with french people, and thus, speaking only french. it was good to see what life would be like if i stayed on after all my american friends left: confusing, life would be exhausting and confusing. but i could have some girl friends, which i didnt think possible before.
weekly highlights:
dates: 13-20 april [days 98-104]
sights seen: many places in paris i had never been!
something new: i attended a church service in french. i'm not religious, but megan is.
someone new: the boys friends! most notably, THE ex!
somewhere new: the banlieues.
what i miss: speaking english. my friends. megan.
what i love: speaking french. the boy's friends. paris.
what i'm not so sure of: speaking french. how long i have left. money.
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