well, i am home. in the quiet days between christmas and new years eve, phoenix has slowed to a lull. i have spent the last week catching up with family, and taking care of my mother. i spend most of my time sat in the armchair by her bed, crafting and catching up on 30 rock and criminal minds. if not there, im with my sister and her brand new baby boy. it's absolutely wonderful. the pace of life has lessened, and i have finally found a moment to myself, while my mother showers and my dad is at the pharmacy. i said i wasnt going to blog, but it has been hard to resist the siren call of the internet. it was quite interesting to see what everyone else has been up to over the holidays! and though i dont have time for a full blown post, here is a peek of what i have been up to:
i do miss london, quite a bit. the skyline is so bright and empty here, i have developed reverse claustrophobia. i scoured the grocery store and was luckily able to find blackcurrant jam and pear cider, it felt like a little part of england is here in the states.
even so, it's good to be home...
at the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. you will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. [barbara bush.]
the last week.
[i lost a week, to be explained later.]
daily updates:
i warn you, this was a very boring week. next week will be as well. yes, they are my last two weeks in london. but all of my coursework for the entire year is due on the 18th. as my horrible tendency to procrastinate did not dissipate this term, i have three months of work to do in two weeks.
8 december. homework.
9 december. homework. went to get different yarn and dinner with max and kat.
10 december. knitting. homework. i went to one last dinner with kim and max. we went to get pizza in soho. the pizza was really good, i'd been there before. its probably the last time ill see kim though. after dinner, i went to max's room for a bit. i had a very nerdy discussion about video games with his roommate. he made me a balloon apple. like i said, a very nerdy discussion.
11 december. homework during the day, afterward i had my last night out in london!
megan and i went to winter wonderland in hyde park. we were hoping to ice skate, but they were all sold out. we still had a great time! we went on a big giant ferris wheel, and some rides. the queues were non existant, so the rides lasted three times longer than they normally would have! it was great! i had only ever been to state fairs before, never had i been to a christmas fair. there were lights everywhere, and it reminded me of zoolights, only with roller coasters so better. i did feel a twinge of homesickness, after realizing i wouldnt be going to zoolights this year. zoolights has been a tradition for the past few years, and it feels weird to miss it. that also made me realize i wont be home for christmas, and more than anything, i would like to be home right now. christmas does feel different over here. there are very strong german influences, and no snow. all the food at the fair was german food. all the rides had german names, and descriptions in german. the music played was in german as well. even the christmas trees were decorated in the german style. megan couldnt explain it, she simply said, 'its christmas, thats how christmas is.' there were also booths selling fake snow! you mixed a powder with regular tap water, and it formed congealed flakes that stayed cold and clumped together, 'just like snow!!' needless to say, it felt nothing like snow. after living in flagstaff, snow has become a part of christmas and it is weird to think i wont see any this season. but i am certainly getting enough rain, which is a rarity in arizona!
after the fair, we decided to go get food. since it was my last night out, megan insisted i pick. i couldnt, so we went to a tube map, closed my eyes and selected a random stop. that stop luckily turned out to be covent garden! we went to a tiny restaurant there with amazing italian food. it was expensive, but worth it.
once we had finished stuffing our faces, we went to the york to try mulled cider. they didnt have any, so we got mulled wine instead. then we went to the hobgoblin and stayed there for the rest of the night. it was a good last night out, it was good to go to the hobgoblin for the last time. i will admit i felt a bit sad, the conditions of leaving london, missing home, and being marooned inside with homework all day are starting to wear on me.
12 december. homework. i also began to write a story. i havent truly written anything since the summer of 2007. it was a big step. at first, when the urge to write hit me, i didnt recognize it for what it was. it was a foreign feeling, that nonetheless felt oddly familiar, like a distant memory. it wasnt until i started forming sentences and characters in my head that i realized what i was feeling. so i created a private blog, and began to write some chapters.
then i got sick. i had a fever and felt ridiculously nauseous. my roommate invited me to go out, but i declined and stayed in bed. i fell asleep around nine, after attempting to watch the nightmare before christmas. i have never seen the entirety of that movie, but people rave about it.
13 december. homeworkkkkk. ugh. kat's birthday dinner. her parents flew in to celebrate her 21st. they took max, lindsey, and myself out for thai food. it made me miss home, although her family is nothing like mine is.
14 december. homework during the day. at night, i went out with my study abroad programme for the last time. they paid for dinner, and we went to pizza express. after dinner, we took a trip on the london eye. it was a great end to a great trip. upon arrival at home, i started skypeing with my sister. it turns out i need to go home, and have bought a plane ticket. that is how i lost my last week in london. i was supposed to leave the 20th, but am now leaving the 15th.
15 december. my last day in london. i spent it uneventfully: in class, and hurriedly packing. i had to throw away so much, but i am already worried about transporting my large suitcases by myself. i went to a goodbye dinner with max and lindsay, kat was with her parents. we got the best indian food i have gotten here in the entire time. megan stopped by after work to say goodbye. everyone else i just texted or will facebook later.
i will go to a more in-depth summary/conclusion of my trip later. i am just too exhausted right now. [sorry if this post is incoherent.] i think this picture of my desk and bulletin board sums it up rather nicely.
weekly highlights:
dates: 8-15 december [days 80-87]
sights seen: nonnnnnnne...
someone new: kat's parents!! that was weird!
something new: winter wonderland! lamb.
somewhere new: nope.
new venue: yes! bella italia!
what i love: london.
what i miss: arizona.
what i am not so sure of: nothing. but i do hate homework.
this is my last blog post in england! i cannot believe my three months here have gone that quickly. it feels like only yesterday that i stepped off the plane. the time has flown by, and i feel like a different person. my time here has changed me, and i believe i have left a little part of myself on the streets of london, replaced by the piece of london i am taking home with me.
this will be my last weekly update until paris. i am having to return home to phoenix for the holiday season. i need to be with my family right now, it is the best thing to do. i fly out of london tomorrow, i bought the ticket yesterday. i thought i had another week here before going to guildford, then more time to do things while in england, and although that makes leaving harder, i need to be home. especially since i will be in paris for so long.
i just realized, i really am leaving. i will never again live in my little nido "cube". i will miss the little personal pizzas, the bacon, the crisps, the chips, the pubs, the indian food, the accents, the slang, the humour, the bbc iplayer, the fashion, and, of course the beautiful boys. there is so much i will miss, so much that i have grown accustomed to having and taken for granted. but every chapter must end, and at least im leaving wanting more!
i wont be posting over the holidays, i am taking a break, and will just enjoy being with my family at this difficult time.
happy holidays, happy christmas, and a happy new year! i will be back the seventh of january, this time, in paris!
i move to paris in four weeks exactly.
i just paid my temporary housing deposit, through a french paypal account. [thanks to my sister and her husband's generosity!! love you both!] i was excited to see that i quickly understood the legal terms and the logistics of it all, which were entirely in french. most of it i didnt even need to translate in my head, i just instantly knew what each word meant.
earlier today, in french class, i participated in a heated debate on whether global warming exists or not. i was able to use scientific and political terms to convey my point and opinion. i couldnt believe it, i understood others and was understood by them. even further, on my last test, i received a top mark. i am very glad i took this french class, it has really helped make me feel much closer to fluent.
that being said, i am absolutely terrified to go to paris. i am afraid that my french will not be strong enough, my accent will be horribly american, and my grammar so poor that i spend the entire time miserable, lonely, and afraid to speak. my only consolation is that i will be put through a month long intensive orientation to the city and the language; the entire month of january will be spent in preparation for february.
but, when february rolls along, i will be kicked out of the temporary housing and forced to find my own place to live. i have no idea where to begin with that. what if i choose the wrong neighborhood? what if i negotiate the wrong lease, because my french isnt strong enough? what if i cant afford the six months rent that will be required of me? what if i cant even find one single place?
then, classes will start. my classes will be entirely in french. every single one. i can only understand french if im looking at the speaker. what if it is a big lecture hall, and i cant see the professor? how do i take notes, but still understand everything? how do i write a 2000 word essay, entirely in french?
then, i will have to make friends. not only will i have to force myself to speak, to introduce myself, to be bubbly and friendly and open, like i did upon arrival in london, but i will have to be doing this in a foreign language, completely out of my comfort zone. i am so afraid that i wont push myself, and i will just be silent and shy the entire time i am there.
finally, i am afraid i wont travel. i barely traveled here, and i had an opportunity to every weekend, through all the americans in my housing. i dont regret it, i loved my weekends spent here, all the people i met, the culture i experienced and all the english friends i made. but i shouldnt do that in france. ill be on the continent, with a visa valid for all of western europe, open access to so many other countries! who knows when i will be back in europe, this single, young, untethered and care-free? i need to see every single place i can. granted, i will be living in paris for seven months and will have enough time to travel and still experience france fully, but what if i dont meet anyone to travel with? my programme in france is completely different than my programme here in england. they warn you that you wont meet many other americans...
also, i will be in france for seven months. i will most likely return home in mid-august. upon arrival, ill spend, at the most a week, in phoenix, before packing up my dog and a few possessions to move back up to flagstaff. then who knows when ill be able to get down to phoenix for a visit, since i dont drive and will have a dog relying upon me. that is quite a long time to be away!
this post is full of what-ifs, and i must meet them head on. i am very good at adapting to my surroundings, and starting over is what i do best. beyond that, it is paris! this is the chapter i have spent almost a decade preparing for. i have purposefully taken french since i was fourteen, knowing i would want to go to france. london didnt take much thought, i had family here and i always knew i would live here one day. it was france that took preparation and planning. i took eight years of the language, maintaining a 3.0 gpa at my uni so i could qualify for the programme.
all this being said, as worried as i am, i am unbelievably excited to go to france. i still havent been there yet, it will be a complete, and very welcome surprise.
sometimes i wish i could stay in london longer, but, for the most part i am ready to move on. paris is beckoning!
pink lemonade [its carbonated here!]
almond croissants.
morning train rides to the coast.
meeting old friends for the first time.
my sister. [and her husband!]
warm drinks [alcoholic usually!] to fight off the winter doldrums.
debates competently won, in french.
[week six]
the traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see. [g.k. chesterton]
three weeks left...
daily updates:
1 december. well, it is december. my building has been decorated with wreaths, flashing lights, and a giant fake tree. the streets are adorned with candy cane lights, giant twinkling stars, and sparkling nets for the trees. the winter is upon us: the sun sets at four o'clock, and you cannot step outside without two pairs of mittens and two sets of tights. outdoor ice skating rinks have sprung up over night. advent calendars have been put up, and the air just crackles with the need for hot chocolate or mulled wine.
the holiday season is so depressing, but i cannot help being charmed...
during the day, i went to class and did homework. max, linsday and i went to get froyo. then, we just hung out in max's room. for weeks i have been talking about reactivating my facebook, i even put it on my 101 in 1001 list. i had some qualms about getting it back, but that night, max made me. so, then we spent hours looking through all my old pictures and comments and messages. it reminds me how far i've come, and how much i do enjoy this new me i have created. in the span of three years, i have changed so much, i didnt even recognize myself when i stumbled upon the earliest pictures. [neither did max or kat.] the changes arent only physical, but also in my personality and morals. but here is how much i have changed, just to illustrate my point!
of course, there are some similarities. but i have grown up so much, and it was really nice to see it. i am no longer the flighty, superficial sorority girl with blonde hair and fake blue eyes. now i'm a lot calmer, a lot nicer and i just have fake black hair and real black eyes hahaha. however, im not so sure i want to keep my facebook. ill give it a few more weeks, but im a bit iffy.
2 december. i spent the day trying to shop for boots and going back to the h. that night, i did some last minute packing and went to get indian food with max. we didnt get back until late, and i just fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
3 december. even though i was reluctant, i went to french class. after class, i met up with megan and we hopped on the tube and headed to heathrow for... my trip to ireland!! the weekend had finally arrived! we were on the tube for forty minutes, then arrived at heathrow two hours early. security was a breeze. they let me on with my liquids, even though they were supposedly too big. we then wandered around trying to find food. we could only afford pret, so i got a meatball wrap. i have started eating meat over here. ive been craving it, i think because i am so malnourished. it wasnt until we got inside the terminal when we happened upon a weatherspoon! we surpressed our disappointment, and boarded the plane. i slept the whole way, which was less than an hour. then we landed!! we figured out the buses, and took them to our hostel. after checking in, we went to a pub that was right by the hostel. we stayed there for a bit, but they were dead, so we went to another one. that one had live music and trendy boys! my two favorite things!
4 december. we woke up late, but still in time for the free breakfast of jam and toast. i tried blackcurrant jelly for the first time, and i absolutely loved it. i'd had blackcurrant in my cider before, and in my vodka, but i had never seen it as a food. after breakfast, we booked our tickets for a hop-on, hop-off tour. i had never done one of those before, in my quest to never be branded a tourist. all my life, my dad has taught me to be a traveller or a visitor, never a tourist. but megan really wanted to, so i bit the bullet. i actually had a great time, we saw and learned so many things we would never have without the bus. we rode it all around dublin, and went to the guiness factory. i liked guiness more than i thought i would, but not enough to finish my whole sample. i went to 'gravity', their rooftop bar. but instead of my free pint, i got a free lemonade. no point in wasting a whole pint.
after we had toured all of dublin, we decided to go on a musical pub crawl. there were two main musicians, and we followed them around to multiple irish pubs around dublin. they talked about their music, told us the history of irish music, and played for us at each place. there were even some songs in gaelic. it was very interesting! after that ended, we went back to the pub by our hostel for some more irish music.
5 december. in the morning, we took a trip down to the coast. i absolutely love the beach, but as it was december, i didnt brave touching the water. there wasnt a single boat or person out on the water. it was still gorgeous, and we got to see the smaller side of ireland. we took a hike down the beach, had a picnic, and then turned back when it go too muddy.
after the coast, we met up with aleks, aka kulka. it was so nice to finally meet her, after over a year of talking on ravelry. she lives right outside dublin, so she came into town to show us around. we went to some great trendy places, which were off the beaten path and made me feel like a local. after spending the first couple hours trading kniting stories, bragging, and drilling each other for information, we decided to go party! first, we went to a very modern looking bar, where we had some very chilled conversation. then we went to an irsih pub. it was so crowded! there were also musicians sitting in a circle playing music to each other. it was interesting to see, but i had gotten enough of that the night before. so then aleks took us to local pub, with an outdoor courtyard full of boys. it was quite a sight to see, there must have been dozens. there was even a converted double decker bus, where you could go and drink in. we had a drink called 'tonic wine'. i cant remember its irish name, that is where the night starts getting fuzzy! eventually, we left that bar and went to one last pub. we met up with all of her friends, and i had an amazing time! i feel like i was able to see both sides of dublin, not just the tourist facade.
the ocean air, mized with the constant drizzle of ireland, does funny things to my hair. i look a mess in these pictures, but it was so much fun!
aleks, if youre reading this, thanks for a great night!
6 december. we didnt do much in the day since we had some trouble finding the bus to the airport. finally we found it, and they wouldnt let us on because megans suitcase was too big. supposedly the luggage racks were full. so we ended up having to take a taxi, which was expensive! but we barely made our flight, we had five minutes to spare. we had some trouble at security since, apparently, irish security is much more strict than english security. but it was all sorted, and we ended up on the plane okay. the plane ride home took two hours, instead of one. but i slept the whole time. when we got back, i unpacked and fell asleep straight away. i really do need to start eating better, i can tell i am malnourished here. unfortunately, my gp is acting up. as soon as i get to guidlford, i'll have to go on a liquid diet for a bit. fortunately, thats not too far away! :(
7 december. spent all day in bed, catching up on the sleep i missed all weekend. then in an effort to eat better, went to get burgers and froyo with max, kat and lindsey. my essays are due soon, im trying to get them all done this week, so i can enjoy my last week in london with no worries or stress. hopefully i wont procrastinate too much!
weekly highlights:
dates: 1-7 december [days 73-79]
sights seen: the republic of ireland!
something new: tonic wine! if thats not enough, i went on my first ever tour.
someone new: countless :) notably, alexs!
somewhere new: dublin and the coast of ireland!
new venue: countless!
what i miss: i desperately miss the dollar. the tube, while i was in ireland. my mother, father, and sister.
what i love: toast and blackcurrant jam. days spent at the coast. traveling with friends. coming home [to london]. my five euro fake uggs.
what im not so sure about: my upcoming move to paris...
in knitting news, i was featured on knitted bliss' modification mondays. i'm quite proud!!
megan and i went to winter wonderland in hyde park. we were hoping to ice skate, but they were all sold out. we still had a great time! we went on a big giant ferris wheel, and some rides. the queues were non existant, so the rides lasted three times longer than they normally would have! it was great! i had only ever been to state fairs before, never had i been to a christmas fair. there were lights everywhere, and it reminded me of zoolights, only with roller coasters so better. i did feel a twinge of homesickness, after realizing i wouldnt be going to zoolights this year. zoolights has been a tradition for the past few years, and it feels weird to miss it. that also made me realize i wont be home for christmas, and more than anything, i would like to be home right now. christmas does feel different over here. there are very strong german influences, and no snow. all the food at the fair was german food. all the rides had german names, and descriptions in german. the music played was in german as well. even the christmas trees were decorated in the german style. megan couldnt explain it, she simply said, 'its christmas, thats how christmas is.' there were also booths selling fake snow! you mixed a powder with regular tap water, and it formed congealed flakes that stayed cold and clumped together, 'just like snow!!' needless to say, it felt nothing like snow. after living in flagstaff, snow has become a part of christmas and it is weird to think i wont see any this season. but i am certainly getting enough rain, which is a rarity in arizona!
